I would like a guide book telling me about my next decision.
What do I want?
What is my truth?
What is the RIGHT choice?
What is the BEST path?
It seems every day is filled with hundreds of decisions, and each one can alter a part of my life.
How to make choices?
Especially when I want to make the right one.
And perhaps I’ve realized is the place of confusion – feeling a need to be ‘right’.
And a fear of being ‘wrong’.
Again and again, I come back to this quote by poet, Raine Maria Rilke:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
And as I read this over and over again, I find myself breathing more deeply, remembering to live with the places of tension of not knowing.
Not knowing is uncomfortable especially for us ‘planner’ types. Of course we need to know what is going to happen next!!!
Well, life has other ways of stretching us….living into places of not knowing, and coming to rest there.
Living into our questions,
into our humanity,
into possibly coloring outside the lines as we explore the questions fully.
And these questions become my prayer as I surrender to Divine Love in the midst of not knowing.
I surrender to being led and guided as I stumble on this path.
I surrender to the possibility of not being ‘right’, but instead being ‘real’ with my human journey.
I surrender to the questions themselves and let them fill me and expand me and enlarge me, even though it is uncomfortable, even though it creates tension.
And as I open up once again, and breathe, I become aware of a gentle peace that is deeper than all of this.
I become aware of joy that is the undergirding foundation of all of life.
I become aware of the beauty of being human.
And my heart wells in gratitude.
And I fall in love with the Presence of Love, who when I become still and open, is ever present beside, within, and all around.