Tribute to Brian Doerksen
It feels surreal to pen these words – a tribute to Brian Doerksen, singer-songwriter, internationally recognized worship/music leader. It is still a shock to know he is no longer with us in the way we have known. This year has already held two big losses in my life, my father and my dear friend, Elsie Goerzen. Each loss carries waves of memories, stories, feelings, and a profound awareness of how we touch each other lives in countless ways – so many ways that we will never even know. The loss of Brian’s physical presence here is unexpected, shocking, and hits deep in the heart.
I spent my teen years in Abbotsford, having moved from Harrison Hot Springs when I was 10 years old. My family lived up the road from Central Heights Church, which became our faith community. A new beginning unfolded in those years – meeting many people who would become a part of my life in the coming decades. In grade 7, I was invited to be the rep for the younger members of the youth group and thus began a journey into being with a large and evolving youth group of over 100 students at the time. It was here at the Central Heights youth group, where I met Brian Doerksen and shared memories of a profound opening to Spirit in the early to mid 80s. Our youth group was the place to be, the place where many of us found friendships and profound experiences of tapping into a sense of the Presence of God in new and exciting ways. We had a dynamic youth leader at the time, Blayne Greiner, who loved and championed our leadership skills and encouraged our creativity and ideas.
I remember coming home from a youth retreat and being part of leading music for the Sunday Evening service with Brian and others. We were on fire for God, for Love, for a real spiritual connection. Many of us went into YWAM (Youth with a Mission) following those youth group years and then found our life’s direction in diverse ways as we entered our 20s. The Vineyard movement came to BC soon after and upon returning from two years in Africa, my life intersected again with Brian’s at the Langley Vineyard where he invited me to join him musically on a number of occasions. But my life was taking me away from the circles I had known. In the following years, I entered a time of profound loss and thus began my journey into contemplation, deconstruction of the faith I had known, and eventually, an emergence into a profound faith that came out of the dark night.
More than a decade later, I sought Brian out as songs that came from my dark night were ready to be shared, and he introduced me to his producer, Philip Janz (who has produced my songs for the last 20 years and became a close personal friend) and the rest of his band – many of whom them performed with me as I released my first solo album, Love Shines in 2011. Brian encouraged me and supported me as I stepped into my musical dreams. He told me more than once that the song, Breathing Together, had been a gift to him. It was so special to welcome him to the stage with me in 2023 to share that song together. His words on the stage were humbling for me and so deeply encouraging.
L-R: Kevin Boese, myself, Brian Doerksen, Rebecca Sichon (former student of mine who is now a singer-songwriter). Not in this image but present for this event is Philip Janz, Brian Thiessen, Boris Sichon, Steve Klassen, and Jon and Joleen VanDyke.
As I have read many of the many tributes of others for Brian, it is a common theme to hear of his support and encouragement of others. He was genuine and honest in his love and support for those around him. It is these moments we remember and cherish, how someone made us feel, how they cared.
It is one thing when a parent dies, but it is another when one has so many years yet in front of them and life is suddenly over. It makes me gasp and my heart feel so tender. We all don’t know when our last days will be … and Brian’s death brings that reality just a bit closer to me. Brian’s family and many close friends were there to love and support him at the end, showing powerful presence in their many acts of tenderness and kindness. My view is from a circle beyond that inner circle, a friend with roots from the past, whose path intersected over the decades with care and respect. The family and those who lived close to Brian need our love and respect as they navigate a profound journey before them.
When is that last day in human form? How then shall we live as we have opportunity to breath and be in a body? With great love and kindness. With mindfulness and support of the other. With affirmation and celebration. With generosity and patience.
Brian – my heart aches with the suddenness of your passing. I reach out my arms to the skies – may you feel our gratitude. May you feel our love. May you know how we cherish the moments where we knew your presence and love. May you know how you touched our lives in countless ways, making them richer and more beautiful. Thank you for your one beautiful life. You have lived well. You have loved well. Be at peace my brother.
With all my heart, Cathy
