turning 50

Cathy AJ Hardy posted on

Turning 50…. June 29th

turning 50

When I was girl, I never thought I’d be a middle-age woman…ask any 8 year old if she can imagine being 50….utter disbelief!

And here it is.

June 29th – I’m here at 50.

A moment.  A milestone.  A marker.

I’ve thought a lot about this and been preparing for it in my own way.  I decided in my early forties that I wanted to be living from my core self at 50 – doing what really mattered most to me.  And in deep gratitude, I can say that I am.  Through a variety of avenues, the past few years have moved deeper and deeper into soul work, transformational work, song-writing, mentoring others in music and soul care, writing poetry and prayers for myself and community, and continuing on the journey of learning, learning learning.

In a lot of ways – I feel I’ve just been born.  I’m just beginning.  I’m a newbie!  And in this place of new beginnings, I am looking for people that inspire me to move into this second half of life and I am finding  them.  Some are no longer here on this planet and others are in their 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s living their lives to the full.  By their lives, they call to me to enlarge, to find courage, to create, to learn, to soar, to dream and to dare. These are inspirational people who are doing their deepest heart work in this second half of life.  Able to be fully themselves, they are living out of a deep authenticity and sense of calling and purpose.

This way of life excites me and motivates me greatly.  What others chapters are there yet to be written?  What is yet to be created?  How I long to stay attentive and flow with the Great Love of my life!  One of my teachers has said that the Infinite is infinite in possibilities.    To live with this mindset opens my heart to be alert, to listen, to notice, to be aware.  The Creator is always creating….how can I co-create?

I am grateful for those who have mentored me, sheltered my heart, encouraged me and been my dearest friends.  I’ve known healing through your love and incredible care.  I’m also grateful for those who have rubbed me the wrong way, challenged me and made my life difficult – helping me face aspects of myself that were difficult to face.  You have helped me to grow and to enlarge with a deeper sense of knowing myself.

I’m grateful for life’s twists and turns – and for the current journey I am on.  I never dreamed I would live in solitude for the past 6 years but it has been one of the most profound gifs of my life.  Through this journey of loneliness, I have learned the profound gift of stillness and being at home within my own self.  I’ve come HOME.  Home to my soul.  Home to the Great Love within.  And what a homecoming.  From this place of solitude has grown much creativity, beauty and profound love.

As I turn 50, I look back and say……thank YOU – oh Great Love of my life.

As I look ahead – I say…….let me have courage and dare to live!

As I breathe in this moment right now…..I say YES.

 

 



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